Porn Stud Blog

My Fleshjack Blooper

2011-04-29T01:19:00Z

So, every now and again while I am shooting a scene I run into technical challenges. Maybe there is a little mess with the bottom or a condom gets stuck in a model's ass. I've always considered solo scenes to be the easiest to shoot because the chances of a problem arising whilst shooting is cut in half. Now, I never thought I would have a technical problem with a toy-but leave it to me!

I can remember many a scene where the bottom I was shooting with had a hard time taking my dick, but in this case, it seems like the toy was jumping ship!

Check it out!

Poets, Priests of Nothing, Legends....

2011-04-07T04:27:00Z

I have recently begun sorting through the hundreds of pictures I have had loaded on my C Drive. These pictures have kind of just been sitting in folders on my computer for the last 6 years or so. Because most of these pictures were taken from digital cameras, I've decided to create an account on SnapFish.com. I've sent in all the digital pics and I am having them converted to 4x6 prints. My goal is to take these prints and create photo albums. This way all of the MANY events, appearances, photo shoots, love affairs, relationships, friendships, adventures, nightmares, and magic can be archived and set into sequence-telling the story of my life-from start to finish.

Going through these pictures inspired many feelings in me. Remembering some of the most wonderful and dark periods of my life. Seeing pictures of me celebrating the last 3+ years of my sobriety was the most fun. Seeing pictures of me in the dark, drugged years of my life was tough. It was almost like little demons were casting spectral images onto my computer screen to haunt and terrify me all over again.

Of course the pictures that inspired the most intense feelings in me were the pictures of the many men who have come and gone in my life. So many intense, short lived flings! So many hot one night stands! And lastly, the relationships with the men that altered the course of my life forever.

There were a few men that inspired me to great heights. The deep love I experienced with them remains unrivaled by anything else I have ever known. The way that each of these men loved me was unique. And the love that they inspired in me was quite profound. In many ways, these were the men who wrote my poetry. Each of them inspiring me to grow in a different facet of my life. There have only been three men in my life that I truly loved. These men truly were my Poets. When I see pictures of them and I, reflecting moments from the past and present, I am reminded of just how blessed my life has been. These men still play vital parts in my life today. I don't stop loving them, because true love is infinite.

Then there were the men who inspired something a little darker. Lets face it. Relationships between lovers involves a very specific chemistry. And sometimes the chemistry can be explosive-not in a good way, either. I have brought out the worst in some men and there have been men that certainly have brought out the worst in me. That doesn't mean I have regret. These experiences were necessary for me to become the man I am today. Although, at the time I was carrying on with these men, my life seemed futile, dangerous, toxic and quite unhealthy. I fondly refer to these men in my life as the Priests of Nothing. They governed, they seemed to rule me for brief moments in my life, but the love just wasn't there. It never was. And just like that-they were gone.

I feel very blessed to still hold each of these men in my mind's eye. For better or worse-each of them helped shape and mold the human being I am today. Inevitably, these men brought me to my truth. They brought me to my fire.

And now as I compose these photo albums, illustrating the story of my life...these men become legends.

"And when they ask him about the men in his life...he says, 'As difficult as it has been - They were poets, and yet they were Priests of Nothing...but they were Legends'"

Goodbye, Daddy

2010-10-18T22:45:00Z

I remember when I was a young boy, my father would come up the driveway and I would go rushing out the door to greet him. He would sweep me up in his arms and kiss and hold me. He always called me his little Monkey. My father was my hero. He represented such strength and power to me when I was a boy. He was a very big man. 6ft 4in tall. Stocky build. Deep voice. And, he had a personality that matched his stature. When he walked into a room people took notice. He wasn't the most attractive of men, but always the most endearing. He knew how to make people smile.
At soccer games, my dad was my biggest cheerleader. I remember the time that the referee made him leave the game because he was screaming and cheering so loud. My father's love made me feel so strong and drove me to be the best at whatever I attempted. I remember how excited I would be to show him my report cards, just because I knew he was going to smile with pride. I guess every son wants to know that he is the apple of his father's eye.
Then the storm came...My father had demons that I just couldn't ever comprehend. Those demons rose up and challenged the love of my family. They shattered the the bond that had once held me so close to him. My father became cold and distant. As he and my mother's relationship fell apart, I fell apart. My perfect life became a dreary existence. I remember towards the end of my parent's relationship, I would climb the tree in our front yard.I remember wishing that I could keep climbing high up to the sky and never come back down.
I never really understood why all of a sudden my father seemed to fall so so far out of my reach. It felt like I was trying to hold water and every time I would grasp at him he would quickly slip through my fingers. Often times I wondered what I had done wrong. I was convinced that I had done something to make my father not love me anymore. I thought if I could maybe run faster or try to love him harder he would see I was worthy again of his love. That illusion drove so much of my destructive behavior from my teen years all the way into my adult life. I hated myself for losing my father's love. For losing the man who I had come to know as my hero. My heart cried out for my Dad, but it just never seemed to be heard.

Time passed. Memories kept me a prisoner of the past. I fell so far down with drugs and destruction, I never thought I would come to know a peaceful existence again. My father reached out to me once in 2007, just a few months before I got sober. By then my spirit had become nothing more than a shadow. It reflected pain and misery. Sadness and despair. I pushed him away. Just as I tried to push everyone away that was trying to show me their love.
I believe that my father also suffered from guilt and self-loathing for losing his family. For losing his own grasp on reality so many years ago. I believe that he felt by leaving me alone, he could forget his own pain. I don't blame him for that anymore.
I got sober on Dec.17, 2007. I've reached out to my dad a handful of times in the almost three years that I have been clean. I never got any response. I've had to make my peace with that.
Last Sunday my mother told me that my dad was dying. She got word form my cousin in NY that my father had bone cancer and he had suffered from an acute renal failure. My boyfriend encouraged me to see him again, as frightened and scared as I was. I booked a flight to NY to see my dad the following week.
I was told that he was being transferred to hospice and that I would have the opportunity to see him again. The day before I left for NY, my father passed away.
I don't know what to say...I guess I  always believed that we would be reunited again. But, I suppose every child wants that with their estranged parent. I held my father close to my heart and believed we would be together again some day. But, now he is gone.

Daddy...I still hear your voice. I still remember the smell of your cologne. I still love you now, just as I did before. These images wont ever fade or leave me. They are the things that help me to keep you alive in my heart. I hope that you are happy now and flying free with the angels.
I love you, daddy. And that will never change....

Robbie Ireland Solo

2010-04-26T22:29:00Z

Hey guys!
I recently shot super-sexy, Robbie Ireland for my website, www.NickCapra.com I was looking for a blond this time. I totally wanted to shoot a guy who had that really cute, boy-next-door quality. Robbie fit the bill perfectly! Golden blond hair. Pretty cherub face. Beautiful ass! It was very stimulating for me to watch this boy show off for the camera. I even made him jerk off in his baseball cap to complete the image I was looking to capture for you guys. He had a great time and spanked his hot meat until he shot a nice load all over his stomach.
It was a terrific scene and I couldn't have been happier with the out-cum! =)
It's always a bit challenging for me to film a scene with a hot boy jerking off and not want to jump on him! But, its all about discipline these days!
The Robbie Ireland solo scene will be updated to my site, www.NickCapra.com May 6th.
In the meantime, be sure to check out the 25 full XXX scenes that already up-and running on my site!

The Final Scene

2010-04-07T02:52:00Z

Hey guys! I recently announced that I will no longer be performing on camera with other models. Though, it's still hard for me to believe that I've come to this conclusion by my own accord - this is where my path has taken me. So, who was my last official scene partner??
It was Italian super-stud, Vinnie D'Angelo. (Though, a random model that was painting the room at the time was watching us and ended up jerking off on my chest, the scene was primarily Vinnie and myself. >;->
This particular scene was in no way planned to be my final duo performance I actually had no idea whilst filming with Vinnie that I would come to the decision to no longer perform with other models.
So yes, it was chance. Or maybe it was fate that made my last scene a big ol' bottoming extravaganza! I have spent the majority of my career filming as a top and about 95% of my personal life in that same facet. Bottoming has never come easily for me. And I love stickin' my dick in a hot hole. But, this scene actually turned out pretty hot! Vinnie was great. He is big and hairy and that's how I naturally prefer a man if he is gonna fuck me.
The scene was shot for www.cocksuremen.com

Also, make sure to catch me and some seriously hot Porn Stars and amateurs engaging in some hot XXX SEX on my website: www.nickcapra.com There is a free promo preview on the site as well as an Introductory first month special: $9.99
Check it out!!

Here are some promo pics that I promised to post..
ENJOY!!

Curtain Call

2010-03-30T02:23:00Z

I can't believe how quickly the past three months have flown by! It's so strange because this is the first time in my sobriety that I haven't been traveling for work. Now that I have retired as an escort, my focus has turned to finding an adequate personal training curriculum to enroll in. We've been shooting for the website, but from a slightly different perspective. We've been shooting solo scenes of some really hot models with me still in the picture. Though there is no physical interaction with myself and the other models, you still get me in various states of undress, shooting and directing the models.
So, what has spurred this sudden change of direction with my website?
I have made the decision that I will no longer be performing on camera with other models.
I have shot 60+ XXX Videos over the course of eight years. I have also shot over fifteen scenes for my website, www.nickcapra.com where you can also see me performing with some of the world's most famous Porn Studs as well at some smokin' hot new faces. I now feel that the time has come for me to explore life without having sex on camera. I don't regret the past, nor do I wish to shut the door on it. Hell, I have shot some amazing scenes that have really translated into some beautiful imagery! I have literally been expressing and exploring my sexuality on camera and sharing it with the world for almost a decade!
I loved it! It was a huge part of my life and I am so very proud of all of the accomplishments I have made in my career.

But something has been missing. There is a piece of me that outweighs the 'Nick Capra persona'. This piece of me wants to explore and understand my sexuality on a much more intimate level. I believe that sex is one of the most powerful spiritual tools known to man. And just like any other spiritual tool, it can be used in many different facets. I want my sex-life to take on a a more sacred and personal meaning. I really want to explore sex with just one person. I want to see it grow and become more powerful.
Of course, there is still a part of me that cannot even believe I am uttering these words to you!
Maybe it's me just growing older. Maybe it's just me growing up. I don't have any answers as to why I have been feeling this way for the last three months. All I know is that this is where my path has brought me. This is my truth.

Don't go getting all misty eyed on me now! I will still be shooting solo scenes of myself here and there for my website, www.nickcapra.com And, I will definitely continue to bring you the hottest stars and amatuers engaging in that nasty, hot Capra-style sex that has become my trademark. www.nickcapra.com is my baby...It's my own flesh and blood and it will continue to grow and thrive. But, my days of performing with other hot models have drawn to a close.
I guess this is my curtain call..

I will be posting pics on the blog sometime this week of my last official duo scene. It was shot in January of this year.
(Any idea who it was with??)

This has been such an incredible ride! Remember the skinny Italian kid in"Finish Me Off", by Channel One Releasing? (My very first video) Thanks to Chi Chi for giving me my first break and my name is Porn. Thanks to all of the Studios both past and present that have cast me in their films. Rascal, Mustang, Hot House, Titan, Catalina, All Worlds, Jet Set, Studio 2000, Red Devil Entertainment, Lucas Entertainment..The list goes on and on!
Very special thanks to Jett Blakk, one of my heroes in this Industry. He has been directing me in his movies since 2002. Jett cast me as the star in his first on-location film in Paris, France. ("French Kiss",by Red Devil Entertainment)
Hell, he got me to bottom for the first time on camera as well! Most importantly, Jett was there for me when I was falling apart in those very dark years when drugs almost took my life. There are many associates to be made in this Industry, but very few friends. Jett has consistently been there for me as a friend, business partner ,and mentor for the last eight years.

And most importantly, to all the fans that have sent me so much love and support throughout the years. You guys have truly changed my life. Thank you from the bottom of my dirty little heart!!

Much love,
Nick

"If you go out to the woods today, you'll find he's no longer there."

Grabby Nomination ~ Best Porn Star Website

2010-03-22T22:30:00Z

I just found out today that my website, www.nickcapra.com was nominated for Best Porn Star Website at the 2010 Grabby Awards! I am always honored to be nominated for Awards. This website has been a labor of love and I am very proud to have seen it come to fruition and grow with every new scene that is produced.
Thanks to all of you that have taken the time to check out my website and to all the fans that have become members and continue to support my career! www.nickcapra.com is my baby, and it was created with the hopes that you guys would enjoy being a part of my fantasy world.
Much love and dirty talk to you all!!
Nick

NEW ~ Rod Daily Solo for NickCapra.com

2010-03-07T01:48:00Z

Hey guys!
I recently had the opportunity to shoot super stud, Rod Daily, for my website, www.NickCapra.com
As I am sure you will agree, this guy was born for Porn! He has the most incredibly piercing blue eyes. Lets not forget to mention his perfect body and gorgeous ass!
I took the opportunity to Interview him before his scene. The guy is such a charmer and a total sweetheart. I love it when a model is self assured, with no attitude!
The scene was H-O-T. Rod flexed his muscular arms. Licked his biceps. Literally taunting me behind the camera. It was everything I could do to stay focused on the filming and not maul him. Especially when he was on all fours, triceps extended, ass winking at me. (I'm such a sucker for a pretty hole!) He stroked his hot cock, spit on it, stroked some more. Wait 'til you see him totally immersed in his own body, abs clenched, stroking that hot cock! He finished the scene, blowing a thick load all over his beautiful abs.
I was totally knocked out to have gotten the opportunity to have met Rod. This sexy fucker is definitely one of Porn's hottest tickets right now!

The hot solo of Rod Daily will be updated to my website, www.NickCapra.com on Thursday, March 18th.

If you haven't taken the time to check out my site, be sure to log on and see the 25+ scenes already up and running. The site features some of your favorite Porn Studs: Arpad Miklos, Robert Van Damme, Nick Piston, Scott Campbell, and of course, me!! Not to mention, the hot new faces, amateur sex scenes, and smokin' hot XXX Galleries. All of this and MORE is waiting for you at: www.nickcapra.com
xxx
Nick

Confessions Of A Recovering Hooker

2010-03-01T02:32:00Z

I have not really made much mention about the fact that I am no longer escorting. It never really occurred to me to publicly announce this. But, in retrospect, I think it is really important for me to share with you guys my thoughts on this part of my life-as it has been a HUGE part of my story for the last seven years.
I got into the Porn Industry in February, 2002. My boyfriend at the time, Troy Michaels, was fairly known as a Porn Star and a pretty big escort. I remember the pain that I used to experience every time he would go and turn a trick. It was unfathomable. I knew it was work. I knew that these men were, for the most part, not a threat to my relationship with him. But, it still took a piece out of me-out of us.
Somewhere in my deluded mind, it occurred to me that becoming an escort would be much easier than simply dating an escort. You know how the old saying goes... "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em." In retrospect, that was not the wisest choice. It's almost like conceiving somewhere to your innermost self that becoming a perpetrator is somehow much easier than becoming a victim. And that's exactly what happened.
By the middle of 2002 we had broken up. On January 13th, 2003, I moved from LA to NYC to become a full-time escort. There I was-in NYC, living the life. Flying from NYC to LA, Palm Springs, San Francisco, and even Paris to shoot XXX videos.
I was making a lot of money. I was doing a lot of drugs. And just as my relationship had turned sour with my former prostitute boyfriend, all the rest of my relationships for the next seven years followed suit. If not falling prey to my drug habit, I lost all of my relationships due to my 'work' as an Escort/Porn Star.
Throughout the years, I have dated some AMAZING men. They simply couldn't handle it. And those that could...Lets talk about that for a minute..WHAT SANE PERSON DATES A PROSTITUTE?? Seriously!
Losing the relationships sucked!
But losing myself..so much worse. You forget who you are when you have a different name. When you are catering to other people's fantasies. What are my likes? What are my loves? Who am I??? I didn't know anymore. I had become a living image of whatever you perceived me to be. I was lost. I was in so much pain. And this infinity of perpetual aching stretched limitlessly.
Yes, yes, yes..I have traveled the world. I have made TONS of money. I have met some very interesting, amazing men along this path. But, the price I paid was very high. At the time it was happening I didn't see it. In the beginning, because I was so loaded. Copious amounts of drugs made my work so much easier. The dope left me despondent. I could share my body with anyone.
Then, even more reckless, I was living the life of an Escort/Porn Star in sobriety! No numbing. Just completely addicted to the money and the spotlight. I got so caught up in the 'circuit escorting' scene. Rentboy Pool parties/ Circuit parties across the country. My picture splashed EVERYWHERE. Traveling and escorting in other states. Award nominations. (I actually won Porn Star Escort of the Year at the 2009 International Escort Awards) And I thought that was living...I remember clearing $4500 in 3 days. It was great. It was money, But it wasn't love.
To be honest..looking back on it. It was a really empty existence.I'm a naturally loving guy. I am inclined towards relationships. I love sharing things with another man. One man. I sacrificed that for notoriety and money. I don't regret it. But, I can't live with myself any more that way either. The longer I am sober, the more I become connected to who I really am. The more the outside crap doesn't matter anymore.
I have a lot of friends that are still hookers and I don't judge them one bit! Just as I don't judge people who still party with drugs and alcohol. It's not who I am anymore, but judging them would be judging myself.
I am a 35 year old man who is just beginning to experience life again. I don't want there to be any strikes against me. I don't want there to be anything in my lifestyle that is thwarting my path anymore. I stopped using dope for that very reason.
To those boys out there who are just getting into the escorting Industry. Here ya go. It's lucrative. It can be filled with infamy and tons of notoriety and publicity. (Mine sure was!) I got EVERYTHING that I thought I wanted out of this Industry and NONE of it was what I REALLY wanted. You take from this what you want, and leave the rest for the next reader...
So now, the next natural step for me is my retirement as an escort. I'll miss the money from time to time, but what do I gain? I get to experiment with true monogamy in my next relationship. Something I have not given myself permission to do in seven years!! I get to re-establish my sex esteem. I'm not just a sex toy that can be rented. I am a sexual being and my sexual powers are something that I'm going to learn to honor. I understand that healing from all of this isn't necessarily going to happen overnight. But, that's what my shrink is for!
And lastly, for those of you wondering how on earth my next relationship could be considered 'true monogamy' if I'm still a Porn Star. If I'm still performing with other men. I guess I'm gonna have to save that for another confession...

xxx
Nick

PORN STUD BLOG NOMINATED~VOTE FOR ME!

2010-02-26T23:57:00Z

Hey Guys!
Just got word that my blog was nominated for Best Porn Blog at the 2010 International Escort Awards.
Though I am no longer escorting, I am still honored that the blog was nominated. This is the one place where I can get real and talk about things off the cuff, so to speak.
For all of you that read this blog and support my writing, please take a moment to go to this link and vote for me!!

http://www.rentboy.com/Awards/vote.asp

Thanks so much to everyone who has supported me and my writing throughout the years!

xxx
Nick

Moving Forward

2010-02-15T18:48:00Z

I have had a crush on this guy for several years now. We work out at the same gym. We have a few friends in common. But, I never had the balls to talk to him. I would get all nervous and excited when I saw him. . I would watch him at the gym and wonder what he would feel like underneath me. What his lips would feel like against mine. So handsome! Beautiful brown eyes, dark hair, tats up and down his arms. He's Italian. Beautiful body. So damn sexy! Finally we spoke. He asked me why I always ignored him in public places. I told him that I found him so attractive that I became nervous around him. He melted. I finally asked him out. I was so uncomfortable on that first date. I couldn't be authentic around him. I felt like I was too busy trying to play it cool. Trying to play a part that wasn't me. Can you relate? Do we all play a part when we are out with someone for the first time? For the first few months? Why? Is it because we are afraid that they wont like the real person hiding inside?
I explained to him that I was still nervous. That I was finding it difficult to be myself around him. It made it so much easier to tell the truth, rather than stay committed to this part that I was playing, just trying to impress him. We ended up hitting it off pretty well!
We have seen each other multiple times. I'm beginning to feel a bit scared about getting hurt, but I'm gonna follow through, anyway.
Things are changing so much in my life. Every day sober, I find out a little bit more about myself. I'm looking toward getting certified as a personal trainer in mid-March. That will change things for me drastically. It will be the first time in the last eight years that I will be getting a 'normal' job. I'm looking forward to being a normal person again. I will always have this part of my life, and the many adventures it has brought me. But, the truth of the matter is that is has been kind of lonely. So hard to be in a real relationship as a Porn Star. I want to be in a loving relationship. With myself. And definitely with another man!
I've made it this far, so I know that if I keep moving forward, it can only get better.
Cheers to endurance!!
xxx
Nick

Dirty Man - Solo Teaser

2010-01-25T16:36:01Z

Hey guys...Here is a teaser for a solo scene I recently shot for my website, www.nickcapra.com
It has not even been updated to the site yet, so I am giving you guys the first peek. Tell me what you think!!
xxx
Nick

New Scene for CockSureMen.com - Nick Capra and John Magnum

2010-01-12T18:01:00Z

I have got to give mad props to the guys at www.CockSureMen.com When they paired me with John Magnum to do a scene for their site, they hit the mark! This kid is, by far, one of the hottest scene partners I have ever had the pleasure of fucking. He had a great attitude. No ego. Absolutely gorgeous face, body, and ass! We shot for a few hours on Jake Cruise' ranch and it was a blast. Scenes like this one are what make my job so fucking worth while!
I think I licked this kid's ass for a good 30 minutes. It tasted so damn good! And when I was fucking him, he was making these faces that threw me into a frenzy!
Here are a few exclusive pics from the scene. To catch all the action between me and John Magnum in it's entirety, make sure to log on to: www.CockSureMen.com

xxx
Nick

Calendar Signing @ Bacchus House

2010-01-09T18:51:00Z

Hey Guys!
I will be giving away free, autographed 2010 Rentboy Calendars tonight at Bacchus House in San Diego. If you are here in sunny San Diego, I would love it if you dropped by and said, 'Hello!'
This year has already started with some wonderful new friendships and travel plans for me. I will be visiting South Beach, Florida in several weeks. And, I just booked a trip home to NYC for late February. Cant wait!
Hope your New Year has kicked off with a bang!
xxx
Nick

Ive been feeling quite nostalgic lately. Here is another vintage Capra pic. Circa 2003...

For Your Viewing Pleasure...

2010-01-05T23:10:54Z

One of the most popular scenes that has been featured on my website, www.nickcapra.com , has been the Nick Capra/Nick Piston pinball machine fuck-fest. I was so excited about finally being able to work with Nick Piston. That blond hair and those gorgeous eyes. The pretty face and that body...All those fucking tattoos! The man was born for Porn...
When I approached Nick about doing the scene for my website, we both agreed that it was a long time cuming! We also mutually agreed that we wanted the sex to be completely unstaged-organic. There are very few models that are capable of doing a scene this way. Most models become so aware of the lights, cameras, etc..They lose their focus. The director wants to dictate every single movement that is made. And that is why so many scenes come out looking contrived.
Nick Piston is one of those models that completely surrenders himself to the moment-to the sex...
Working with someone as committed to the art of sex always inspires me to perverse heights!
Sure, we added the pinball fantasy to the scene for fun..But, the sex was completely un-rehearsed and that is why I think it came out so fucking hot!
Nick Piston is one hungry cock-sucker and a seriously aggressive bottom.
What more could a man like me ask for??

Check it out!!

TO VIEW THIS SCENE IN IT'S ENTIRETY AND TO ENJOY MORE SCORCHING SEX WITH SOME OF YOUR FAVORITE PORN STARS, ALONG WITH SOME BRAND NEW FACES, VISIT MY WEBSITE.. http://www.nickcapra.com/
WHAT U WAITING FOR??

Am I Single? ... Am I Not?

2009-12-28T06:52:00Z

The one great challenge that I have faced in the two years that I have been sober..Am I okay without a man in my life? I have friends who swear that being single is the only way to be. I also have friends who commit to love the way our bodies commit to oxygen. An utter necessity.
So, which is more fulfilling?
Living life as a single, gay man who is self-sufficient and sober has been very empowering over the last several months. I have not felt this committed to my friends and myself in a very long time. I have the power to choose different romantic paths. Dating and having fun. I get to have sex with anyone that I want, whenever I choose. But, there are nights when I would like to have someone next to me in bed. But, is that reason enough for a boyfriend? Maybe what I really need is just a good cuddle buddy. Are we just kidding ourselves to think that we all don't yearn to share love with someone special?
I have lived a great portion of my life in relationships. Both good and bad. I love having that connection. The feeling of intimacy and companionship. But, relationships are a full-time job. Compromise, intention, and willingness are always up to bat. And how many gay relationships do you know of that are legit? Healthy? Happy? Are we just backing ourselves into a corner, thinking that we need a man to define our happiness?
I don't have all the answers right now.
I can promise you this..
Until I come up with the answers for myself, I am going to live every moment of my life to the fullest. Sexy, sober, and single!

Happy Holidays!

2009-12-26T05:27:00Z

I just want to take a moment to wish everyone a Happy Holiday. This is generally a very reflective time for me. I like to take inventory of all the blessings that I have received...
Starting with every single one of you! February of 2010 will mark the 8th anniversery of my very first video! ('Finish Me Off", by Channel One Releasing) What a ride it has been! I just want to thank every single one of you for the love and support you have given me throughout the years. I could not have done any of this without you. The emails, the commments, seeing you guys at different events, and making the connections with you has really been the high-point of my career.
You all have truly changed my life!
xxx
Nick
www.nickcapra.com

This was the 1st promo pic of me from my very 1st video..

Vintage Capra!!

NickCapra.com Now Available on VOD!!

2009-12-24T19:11:00Z

Hey Guys!
I am very pleased to announce that four of the scenes that were shot exclusively for my website have now been released to www.AEBN.net
AEBN is the premiere Video On Demand site, where you can see individual scenes from your favorite video-namely mine :o)
The titles: Nick's Fuck Buddies Vol.1 and Vol. 2 are now available for your viewing pleasure. They feature scorching scenes with myself and Nick Piston on a pinball machine. Also scenes featuring newcomers, Andrew Dragon and Adam Isaac.
And for all you sports fans who love a hot bottom...
Me bottoming for Antonio de Carlo after a nice soccer session in the park.
Check it out!! It was raining. Not the usual kind of rain that falls in this town. But, the kind of rain you get when you are in the eye of a storm. When you came to my door you were soaked. Beautiful bright eyes staring up at me. I love it when you smile. We stared at one another intently for a moment. Then you were wrapped in my embrace. I love the passion that exudes from you when we kiss. Those pouty, soft lips. That face. Such sensual symmetry. We sucked on each others lips hungrily for what seemed like hours. I stripped you out of your wet t-shirt. That body! Golden skin. Lean muscle. I kissed you again. Already erect.
We fell onto my bed, my body pressed up against yours. The way you moan when I kissed your neck. The way you arch your back as I tugged at your ear with my teeth. It thrills me. We stripped away what was left of our clothes. I love the way your naked body feels underneath my own. I love the way your body tastes as I kiss you from head to toe. Licking at your balls, licking up your shaft. Swallowing you whole. Kissing and licking your gorgeous, smooth chest.
We both seem in a trance. I lift you up as I enter you. You shudder slightly as we commence.The heat glows red around us. It emulsifies, intoxicating. I see you getting closer and I'm wild with this lust. I love it when you climax. I love it when you cum.
Our sex fills me. You thrill me...

When A Star Falls..

2009-11-15T22:30:00Z

This has been quite a challenging week for me. But, I am learning that it is the most challenging things that I experience in life that really push me to grow. As most of you know, I have been sober for 23 months. I have worked the 12 Steps thoroughly, and I am very much involved with the gay recovery community. I have been working with the same sponsor since I was three weeks sober. My sponsor not only took me through the 12 steps, but he was like the father I never had. I spoke with him every day and I usually sought his advice with everything in my life. He is very respected in the recovery community and he has about seven other sponsees, including myself. He knows the Big Book (the AA book that outlines the 12 Steps) back and forth and has many personal experiences to share from. I called him one day last week, as I do every day, and he dropped a bomb on me. He told me that he had to reset his sobriety date. I was floored. To be honest, I had never considered that my sponsor could ever relapse. I didn't really know what to say. I felt horribly for him. And selfishly, I felt abandoned. Lost. Like a little boy again, who's dad was walking out on him. I was really shaken by this news.
It made me realize that we are all fallible. No matter how much time we have sober or how much we know the information. Without a spiritual experience we are left to our own devices. My own devices have usually led me to self-destruction. Usually in the form of copious amounts of dope. The addict/alcoholic mind is different than those of normal people. No matter how badly we have suffered on account of our addiction, (ie: arrests, jail, hospitals, rehab, bankruptcy, divorce, near death,etc) there is always a little voice in our brains telling us that we can still figure out a way to do it again without any consequence. I suppose my sponsor just gave in to that voice. He must have been really in a dark place to have sought a solution in substances again.
He told me that I would need to decide if I was still going to work with him or not. I didn't know what to do. I just felt the sadness. I didn't make any quick decisions. I took my questions to meditation and searched to see what I felt guided to do. My gut feeling is NEVER wrong. Intuition is always correct. I knew in my heart that I still wanted to maintain a relationship with my sponsor, but the relationship had changed. I do not feel comfortable having a sponsor with almost two years less sobriety than I have.
Being safe in that knowledge, I had to ask for guidance towards a new sponsor. I knew that I wanted it to be a person who not only has a sufficient amount of sobriety, but somebody who has a passion for their recovery, as well as for helping others. I asked the Universe to guide me towards someone who possessed these qualities. I feel that I was led straight from the source of all things living to the person whom would work best with me in my life. In moments such as these..In moments when I am lost and frightened..Full of fear and overwhelmed..An utter dependence on the Energy that comes from a Power Greater than myself can move me through ANYTHING. My new sponsor is amazing! She is nineteen years sober. She is so captivating when she speaks. I have always felt moved by her, but never dreamed of asking her to be my sponsor. I look forward to the new lessons that I will be learning as I work with her. But, I also will not forget, that like my sponsor before her, that she is human. And as humans, we are ALL subject to mistakes and bad choices. As I have learned through this experience, and as I have said before, the only thing that will never fail me is my relationship with this new Power that I have established with Light of the Universe.
Have an awesome week!
Nick